YOU’RE DOING A HECK OF A JOB BROWNIE!

Dear President Obama,

            A month ago an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico blew up and sank, killing eleven American workers. The rig was being used by British Petroleum. You may remember them, they gave you about $80,000.00 for your “Hopey – Changey” election campaign. Funny thing you taking money from the oil industry. After all this crazy talk about “Green jobs” this and “Environmentally friendly” that, and all these catch phrases like “Sustainable” and “Renewable” I keep hearing in the media, I am pleasantly surprised to find out that was all just talk on your part. Good one, buddy. Faking out the environmentalist wackos in your party while all along, deep down inside, you really are an oil guy! Brilliant.

Anyway back to this oil rig thing. You see there is a bit of a problem. It’s leaking. A lot. Lots and lots of oil is washing up all over the beaches and killing fish and all kinds of wildlife. Now I know you’re a big government guy and all that. In fact, federal inspectors were on this rig just a few days before the catastrophe but apparently didn’t do a good enough job. You may want to look into that. In any event you really need to DO SOMETHING about this. Even James Carville is upset with you.

I know this doesn’t affect poverty-stricken black people like Katrina did. I know that mostly white fishermen will be put out of work because of this, and rich white college kids won’t have a place to party on Spring Break, but SOME of them are bound to be Democrats (at least they were). It just doesn’t look good. You should be there.

I also understand all those years of community organizing hasn’t really prepared you for the real world or big-boy problems that the rest of us grown-ups have to face. Perfectly understandable. So I have a suggestion for you. Call former President Bush. He’s been down this road. Remember? 911 was barely an hour old when Peter Jennings claimed he was an incompetent and hiding out. (Tell that to the Secret Service).

 
 
 

President Bush in the smoldering ruins of the WTC three days after the attack. That's called leadership.

 

Hurricane Katrina was being bungled at the local AND state level long before President Bush had an opportunity to do anything about it. He can surely give you some pointers on how to deal with a real world crisis like this one, not a manufactured one. Plus he’s an oil guy, too. At the very least he’ll tell how you can APPEAR Presidential in a moment of crisis since you have no emergency management experience, either.

It’s been thirty days now and sooner or later SOMEONE in the press will get wind of just how badly your administration has booted this catastrophe. After all, the federal government (that’s you) HAS JURISDICTION over the oil industry. So I’m pretty sure that the $80,000.00 you got from BP makes you our point guy on oil and all things oil related. So pretty please… do something. The fish need you.

Sincerely, Captain America.

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16 Responses to YOU’RE DOING A HECK OF A JOB BROWNIE!

  1. Randal Graves says:

    So how did Obama boot this catastrophe? You didn’t mention ONE THING he should have done to stop the leak; just a bunch of typical rhetoric.

    Personally, I think the government should be doing a better job at cleaning up the spill as it washes ashore; he’s certainly missing the mark there.

    I figured you were happy with the government’s lack of involvement since you’ve been preaching “less gubment” ever since Obama took over. Or is that only applicable when it fits your argument?

    And your idea of Bush’s “leadership” is a joke. Based on your photo, all Obama has to do is grab a megaphone and stand next to a fisherman? I guess it’s better than sitting in a classroom trying to read some books.

  2. Randal Graves says:

    “An internal Interior Department report released earlier this week found that between 2000 and 2008, agency staff members accepted tickets to sports events, lunches and other gifts from oil and gas companies and used government computers to view pornography.”

    – It’s OBVIOUSLY all Obama’s fault.

  3. Dustoff says:

    Randal.

    Wine-wine-wine… like some Cheese with that.

    Katrina baby! What comes around, goes around.

  4. Randal Graves says:

    Dustoff, first of all, it’s wHine, wHine, wHine.

    Second, what exactlt am I whining about?

    Third, Katrina and the oil spill are completely different:

    1. Katrina could have been prevented in terms of evacuating the city and/or getting relief to the affected areas. I’ve never said that Katrina was all of Bush’s administration’s fault. It was primarily Nagin and the asshat governor of LA.
    2. The government (city, state, federal) has tons of experience dealing with natural disasters such as hurricanes. They should be capable of mobilizing forces to deal with those type of situations. I suppose you expect Obama to put on googles and a pair of flippers and close the blowout preventer himself?

  5. Dustoff says:

    Randal
    Dustoff, first of all, it’s wHine, wHine, wHine.
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Jezzz get the hint. (wine with cheese)

    It’s called a joke, maybe you’ve heard of it.

  6. Dustoff says:

    Randal
    put on googles and a pair of flippers (Goggles)
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    As a Rescue diver (SCUBA) it’s called mask & fins.

    But thanks.

    No I didn’t expect O-bummer to do anything, anymore than I did Bush.

  7. Ok Randal I’ll play.
    First off who cares what you say? Not every post is about YOU. My criticism is directed at the MSM who crucified Bush at every turn over many things that he had ZERO control over. (Iraq, Katrina, Abu Grhaib…You name it… Bush’s fault)
    I guess you missed that when I specifically named Peter Jennings.
    Also since Obama has been in office he has done nothing except EXPAND government. And yes this is once again a glaring failure of the very government he relishes including himself. It is his administration. So like President Bush was evisceratd over Mike Brown’s ineptness he should be as well for the failures of the Minerals Management Service.
    This guy is an ultimate fraud and hypocrite. He preaches clean energy and all that global warming bullshit yet takes money from B.P.
    When they have a disaster he is NOWHERE to be seen. Leaders lead from the front. Incompetents fix blame.
    I detest the democrats vision of an all controlling, cradle to grave federal government. You apparently don’t.
    Government does have legitimate functions and when they execute them they should do so correctly. If the government REGULATES the oil industry then they should do it correctly. Obama hates fossil fuel yet doesn’t manage the agency in charge of oversight. That’s his watch, his failure. Suck it up.

  8. Bob G. says:

    Bravo, Cap!

  9. Randal Graves says:

    “My criticism is directed at the MSM who crucified Bush at every turn over many things that he had ZERO control over.”

    No, it’s not; it’s 100% against Obama. You addressed it to Obama, spent the next 6 paragraphs ripping Obama, but you throw in 1 journalist and suddenly it’s about the big, bad MSM.

    You still didn’t address what Obama should have done to stop the leak. Based on the facts of the report regarding MMS, you could argue that the last administration just as much as the current in regards to the lack of oversight.

    Instead, it’s all the same around here:
    1. Democrats are bad.
    2. Republicans are good.
    3. Big gubment is bad, except when it helps your argument.

  10. Wyatt Earp says:

    My $0.02. Bush got too much blame for Katrina, and Obama is getting too little for this. It’s like the MSM has an agenda.

  11. Yes it was directed at Obama but that’s SATIRE. The overall theme was a VERY THINLY DISGUISED parody of just about everything that was thrown at President Bush BY THE MSM!

    From President Bush didn’t care about poor black folks in Lousiana and the “Lower 9th Ward” (How many times did we hear that?) to Bush KNEW or even PLANNED 911, to Iraq was a war for OIL!!! to Bush LIED, and on and on and on.
    If this was President Bush there would be such a malestrom of frenzied criticism from the media that more would have been done than some low level bureaucrat in an unknown government agency losing her job. Of course Obama gets a pass on his incompetence. Bush would have been skewered because he has ties to “BIG OIL” oooooooowww. The same BIG OIL that Obama took 80 K from.

    The time to fix this leak was BEFORE IT HAPPENED! Not now. Now that the genie is out of the bottle he needs to lead. Instead he defers and deflects everything to BP. YET he constantly reassures everyone that the government is in charge. Which is it? He should have been in the Gulf within 48 hours and a command center should have been set up to keep everyone informed. He should have been on TV with Governor Jindal pledging to do EVERYTHING possible yet the Obama EPA can’t even get them the permission to save their own beaches.
    Instead he’s MIA. No press at all until yesterday. But he has time to go on vacation and go to fundraisers for Barbara Boxer. He’s weak and incompetent and I TOLD YOU SO. The POLICIES of YOUR democrats are destroying this country.
    Get a grip dude.

    • Randal Graves says:

      Well then you don’t do satire well at all, sir.

      If this blog post was supposed to be ripping the MSM, then you should delete the original blog post/’letter to Obama’ and replace with your last post at 9:21 a.m. Now THAT post is ripping the MSM. The original post was ripping Obama.

      • As always I live and die by your enlightened analysis.
        As usual you seem to be the one who doesn’t get it. Par.

        Every paragraph contains very thinly disguised references to what the MSM laid on Bush or references to the gushing, love filled coverage of Obama’s useless platitudes:
        You may remember them, they gave you about $80,000.00 for your “Hopey – Changey” election campaign. Funny thing you taking money from the oil industry. IGNORED BY THE MSM

        “Green jobs” this and “Environmentally friendly” that, and all these catch phrases like ”Sustainable” and “Renewable” I keep hearing in the media, I am pleasantly surprised to find out that was all just talk on your part. ENDLESSLY PEDDLED BY THE MSM AS OUR FIRST GREEN PRESIDENT.

        Lots and lots of oil is washing up all over the beaches and killing fish and all kinds of wildlife. IT TOOK A MONTH BEFORE WE SAW OUR FIRST OIL COVERED BIRD.

        Now I know you’re a big government guy and all that. In fact, federal inspectors were on this rig just a few days before the catastrophe but apparently didn’t do a good enough job. THIS IS YET ANOTHER FAILURE OF HIS BIG GOVERNMENT APPROACH AND NO ONE IN THE MSM IS CALLING HIM ON IT.

        Even James Carville is upset with you. GUESS YOU MISSED THAT PART.

        I could go on. But the point is made. It is a satirical and sarcastic look at the incident, with an eye on the failure of the MSM to hold their beloved President to the same or even BALLPARK standard that they held the evil George Bush too.

      • Randal Graves says:

        still not satire.

  12. Randal Graves says:

    but that’s not satire.

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